Journal of anime ramblings, fiction works and reflections
He laughed in my face. I would never confess again.
A/N: That is the first and last ten word story I will ever attempt. It still feels incomplete to me because I’m not used to this sort of micro-fiction. If only you could see my book of all the scribbles, cross-outs and scattered attempts at writing ten-word fiction stories. It’s not for me.
So rejection. I’ve been rejected before and friend-zoned twice (
that had been complicated). The rejection wasn’t outright, but that’s how it felt to me. Maybe because I was a dramatic little girl who hated having one-sided feelings/crushes. At that time, I didn’t know that that was just a part of human nature. That not every guy who became the objects of my affection would feel the same way.
It happened during eighth grade when I had joined the Music Club. Apart of the reason I had joined was because of the trips and competitions; and proper truants like me would join clubs just so I’d have a great excuse to skip school. At the time, I had a thing for guys who played drums (
still do) and wore glasses ( …still do *cough*). And such a guy existed in all his perfection and played for one of the school bands we were competing against.
When we got to the quarter-finals, his band was there too and I had told my best friend at the time about the crush I had on him. During the break period, we saw him walking by with his friends and she noticed me acting like a fumbling idiot, so she called him over to talk to me. The three of us stood talking and he was actually really cool, funny – all that jazz. Then as I got comfortable talking to him, he just turned to my friend and started flirting with her and asked her if she was seeing anyone. Apparently he had a thing for drummer girls, and I was just a rookie pianist.
…well, I still remember the distinct sound of my heart shattering – pieces clattering and echoing in the void of my stomach. It was really disappointing, I couldn’t really hear him talking anymore (forgive my melodrama but that’s exactly how I felt). When he looked away, my friend glanced at me and she looked so guilty and sorry. I think she thought I was angry with her but I wouldn’t – couldn’t – be. I was mad at him for not accepting and returning my infatuation that he was oblivious to.
But then I got over it and continued talking with them as we walked back to the competition area. He offered his phone number to us both, I declined and he insisted that my friend take it but she wouldn’t. So I just grabbed her phone, stored his number and he smiled and told us bye.
It was when his retreating figure disappeared around the corner that my facade crumbled and I started crying. That was how I relieved my bottled emotions – crying. She was so shocked by it and started crying too, saying sorry repeatedly and trying to comfort me. Then I just started laughing because my reaction was stupid and she began laughing too (we worked off of each other like that).
When we both calmed down, she said she wouldn’t talk to him and was about to delete his number but I told her not to; that she should just enjoy him for the both of us. After we left, my other friend told me that this other drummer guy had seen me crying and had wanted to come over and talk to me. That would have been my first time seeing him, since his school band wasn’t at the previous competitions I’d been to. The pity of it all.
It was after that experience that I learned to moderate the amount of feeling I put into a crush because usually I’d invest too much time fantasizing about possibilities which pumped the growth of those premature feelings. That’s why I usually felt such agony when my crush(es) turned out not liking me in the same breadth as I did them.
My most recent crush was on this guy who lived down the road from me. My friend had threatened to tell him how I felt, but I begged her not to, even though she told me that he liked me (they were close) but I just didn’t want to tell him. Turns out I should have taken the initiative because he got himself a girlfriend after I withdrew from him. Needless to say my friend taunted me with that godforsaken “told you so.”
And that was the end of my crushes.
No. I’m lying. I had a lot more and still do now.
That’s the end of this post. Feel free to leave comments. I bid you all farewell.