Journal of anime ramblings, fiction works and reflections
“I love you,” she whispered into her pink cell phone. Nothing but music and the rustle of paper returned what she thought was an open and honest gesture. “Did you hear me?” she paused. “I said I love you.” The upbeat country music continued but the rustling of paper stopped. She bit her lip and waited, anxious for his response while her mind calculated a thousand reasons why he didn’t respond to console her.
“Are you busy? Dean?”
“Oh.” She stared up at the wall through the film of tears and swallowed hard. It had been three months. Her inbox had been empty of anything from him in that time. No phone calls. No letters. She just had to make do with the calls from Lin, her mother-in-law, to know he was okay.
He was away on a business trip. A business trip with that busty secretary that made her uncomfortable whenever she’d gone by his office to pick him up for lunch dates. She didn’t want to be paranoid and think that anything was going on between them. She knew Dean better than that. But the thought hovered without the support of surety. He was a man. His secretary was a gorgeous woman. And he had needs.One night when they had argued about his suspicious late nights, he had the audacity to yell that at her. That night when she slept alone, crying, she had passed it off as him just being angry and stressed from work.
“So…what are you doing?”
“Looking through some papers.”
It was vague but she worked with it and the undertone of irritation from him made her regret calling him. But he had answered. That meant something right?
“Then you heard me?”
“When I said I love you.” The previous emotion with which she’d confessed retracted into apprehension. She never usually said it much. Even though they had been together for two years, she always had an uncanny fear of saying those words. Maybe it was just her intimidation to accept something that just seemed too good. Or maybe it was just the indifference with which he’d begun to treat her.
“Oh. Love you too. I have to go now. I’m tired.” Could he sound anymore blase? Maybe he really was just tired.
She hung up without saying goodbye and set the phone on the night table. Her throat constricted with the pain of the growing lump and she swallowed hard. She pulled the engagement ring from her finger, dropped it on the carpeted floor and turned over in the bed.
She was glad she had left his apartment. She was ready to leave the bittersweet memories behind if she had to. She was used to it. And it would probably be for the best.